D-|||-I had an experience some years ago which taught me something about the ways in which people-|||-make a bad situation worse by blaming themselves. One.January,I had to conduct two funerals on-|||-successive days for two elderly women in my community."Both had died full of years,"as the Bible-|||-would say;both yielded to the normal wearing out of the body after a long and full life.Their homes-|||-happened to be near each other,so I paid condolence(吊唁)calls on the two families on the same-|||-afternoon.-|||-At the first home,the son of the dead woman said to me,"If only I had sent my mother to-|||-Florida and gotten her out of this cold and snow,she would be alive today.It`s my fault that she-|||-died."At the second home,the son of the other dead woman said,"If only I hadn`t insisted on my-|||-mother`s going to Florida, she would be alive today.That long airplane ride,the abrupt change of-|||-climate, was more than she could take.It`s my fault that she`s dead."-|||-When things don`t turn out as we would like them to,it is very tempting to assume that had we-|||-done things differently,the story would have had a happier ending. Priests(牧师)know that any time-|||-there is a death,the survivors will feel guilty.Because the course of action they took turned out-|||-badly,they believe that the opposite course-keeping Mother at home, delaying the operation would-|||-have turned out better.After all,how could it have turned out any worse?-|||-There seem to be two elements involved in our readiness to feel guilt. The first is our pressing-|||-need to believe that the world makes sense,that there is a cause for every effect and a reason for-|||-everything that happens.That leads us to find patterns and connections both where they really exist-|||-and where they exist only in our minds.-|||-The second element is the concept that we are the cause of what happens, especially the bad-|||-things that happen.It seems to be a short step from believing that every event has a cause to believing-|||-that every disaster is our fault.The roots of this feeling may lie in our childhood. Psychologis sp-|||-of the infantile(幼儿的)mythof omnipotence(万能).A baby comes to think that the world exists to-|||-meet his needs,and that he makes everything happen in it.He wakes up in the morning and orders-|||-the rest of the world to its tasks.He cries,and someone comes to attend to him.When he is hungry,-|||-people feed him,and when he is wet,people change him. Very often,we do not completely outgrow-|||-that infantile concept that our wishes cause things to happen.D-|||-I had an experience some years ago which taught me something about the ways in which people-|||-make a bad situation worse by blaming themselves. One.January,I had to conduct two funerals on-|||-successive days for two elderly women in my community."Both had died full of years,"as the Bible-|||-would say;both yielded to the normal wearing out of the body after a long and full life.Their homes-|||-happened to be near each other,so I paid condolence(吊唁)calls on the two families on the same-|||-afternoon.-|||-At the first home,the son of the dead woman said to me,"If only I had sent my mother to-|||-Florida and gotten her out of this cold and snow,she would be alive today.It`s my fault that she-|||-died."At the second home,the son of the other dead woman said,"If only I hadn`t insisted on my-|||-mother`s going to Florida, she would be alive today.That long airplane ride,the abrupt change of-|||-climate, was more than she could take.It`s my fault that she`s dead."-|||-When things don`t turn out as we would like them to,it is very tempting to assume that had we-|||-done things differently,the story would have had a happier ending. Priests(牧师)know that any time-|||-there is a death,the survivors will feel guilty.Because the course of action they took turned out-|||-badly,they believe that the opposite course-keeping Mother at home, delaying the operation would-|||-have turned out better.After all,how could it have turned out any worse?-|||-There seem to be two elements involved in our readiness to feel guilt. The first is our pressing-|||-need to believe that the world makes sense,that there is a cause for every effect and a reason for-|||-everything that happens.That leads us to find patterns and connections both where they really exist-|||-and where they exist only in our minds.-|||-The second element is the concept that we are the cause of what happens, especially the bad-|||-things that happen.It seems to be a short step from believing that every event has a cause to believing-|||-that every disaster is our fault.The roots of this feeling may lie in our childhood. Psychologis sp-|||-of the infantile(幼儿的)mythof omnipotence(万能).A baby comes to think that the world exists to-|||-meet his needs,and that he makes everything happen in it.He wakes up in the morning and orders-|||-the rest of the world to its tasks.He cries,and someone comes to attend to him.When he is hungry,-|||-people feed him,and when he is wet,people change him. Very often,we do not completely outgrow-|||-that infantile concept that our wishes cause things to happen.D-|||-I had an experience some years ago which taught me something about the ways in which people-|||-make a bad situation worse by blaming themselves. One.January,I had to conduct two funerals on-|||-successive days for two elderly women in my community."Both had died full of years,"as the Bible-|||-would say;both yielded to the normal wearing out of the body after a long and full life.Their homes-|||-happened to be near each other,so I paid condolence(吊唁)calls on the two families on the same-|||-afternoon.-|||-At the first home,the son of the dead woman said to me,"If only I had sent my mother to-|||-Florida and gotten her out of this cold and snow,she would be alive today.It`s my fault that she-|||-died."At the second home,the son of the other dead woman said,"If only I hadn`t insisted on my-|||-mother`s going to Florida, she would be alive today.That long airplane ride,the abrupt change of-|||-climate, was more than she could take.It`s my fault that she`s dead."-|||-When things don`t turn out as we would like them to,it is very tempting to assume that had we-|||-done things differently,the story would have had a happier ending. Priests(牧师)know that any time-|||-there is a death,the survivors will feel guilty.Because the course of action they took turned out-|||-badly,they believe that the opposite course-keeping Mother at home, delaying the operation would-|||-have turned out better.After all,how could it have turned out any worse?-|||-There seem to be two elements involved in our readiness to feel guilt. The first is our pressing-|||-need to believe that the world makes sense,that there is a cause for every effect and a reason for-|||-everything that happens.That leads us to find patterns and connections both where they really exist-|||-and where they exist only in our minds.-|||-The second element is the concept that we are the cause of what happens, especially the bad-|||-things that happen.It seems to be a short step from believing that every event has a cause to believing-|||-that every disaster is our fault.The roots of this feeling may lie in our childhood. Psychologis sp-|||-of the infantile(幼儿的)mythof omnipotence(万能).A baby comes to think that the world exists to-|||-meet his needs,and that he makes everything happen in it.He wakes up in the morning and orders-|||-the rest of the world to its tasks.He cries,and someone comes to attend to him.When he is hungry,-|||-people feed him,and when he is wet,people change him. Very often,we do not completely outgrow-|||-that infantile concept that our wishes cause things to happen.D-|||-I had an experience some years ago which taught me something about the ways in which people-|||-make a bad situation worse by blaming themselves. One.January,I had to conduct two funerals on-|||-successive days for two elderly women in my community."Both had died full of years,"as the Bible-|||-would say;both yielded to the normal wearing out of the body after a long and full life.Their homes-|||-happened to be near each other,so I paid condolence(吊唁)calls on the two families on the same-|||-afternoon.-|||-At the first home,the son of the dead woman said to me,"If only I had sent my mother to-|||-Florida and gotten her out of this cold and snow,she would be alive today.It`s my fault that she-|||-died."At the second home,the son of the other dead woman said,"If only I hadn`t insisted on my-|||-mother`s going to Florida, she would be alive today.That long airplane ride,the abrupt change of-|||-climate, was more than she could take.It`s my fault that she`s dead."-|||-When things don`t turn out as we would like them to,it is very tempting to assume that had we-|||-done things differently,the story would have had a happier ending. Priests(牧师)know that any time-|||-there is a death,the survivors will feel guilty.Because the course of action they took turned out-|||-badly,they believe that the opposite course-keeping Mother at home, delaying the operation would-|||-have turned out better.After all,how could it have turned out any worse?-|||-There seem to be two elements involved in our readiness to feel guilt. The first is our pressing-|||-need to believe that the world makes sense,that there is a cause for every effect and a reason for-|||-everything that happens.That leads us to find patterns and connections both where they really exist-|||-and where they exist only in our minds.-|||-The second element is the concept that we are the cause of what happens, especially the bad-|||-things that happen.It seems to be a short step from believing that every event has a cause to believing-|||-that every disaster is our fault.The roots of this feeling may lie in our childhood. Psychologis sp-|||-of the infantile(幼儿的)mythof omnipotence(万能).A baby comes to think that the world exists to-|||-meet his needs,and that he makes everything happen in it.He wakes up in the morning and orders-|||-the rest of the world to its tasks.He cries,and someone comes to attend to him.When he is hungry,-|||-people feed him,and when he is wet,people change him. Very often,we do not completely outgrow-|||-that infantile concept that our wishes cause things to happen.