5 When you hear yourself say "should":6 - Evaluate what you really mean. Do you really mean that you are addressing an obligation or expectation that is worthwhile for you to do right now? Or is this some old mental model you have in your head about you, who you "should" be and what you "should" be doing, that maybe isn't worth clinging to?7 - Do it or drop it. If you evaluate the "should" and decide it's worth keeping, then get up and get going. Drop the "should" and the guilt and just do it. If you evaluate the "should" and you need to let go of the expectation or obligation, then let it go! Really. Stop feeling bad about yourself over it, which, as you know, isn't getting you closer to fulfilling it.8 - Find and replace. Now that you've chosen to do it or drop it, replace "should" permanently with more decisive, positive reinforcers — words that will serve you better than "should." Try "I accomplished," "I decided," or just simply "I did" or "I didn't." All of those authorize an action, whether you do the task or not. Statements like "I will" or "I won't" show you have made a decision and agree with it. This ends the disconnect between where you are and mental images in your head that don't matter.9 You control your thoughts. Your thoughts create your emotional state. Your emotions direct your actions. Your actions seek thoughts that reinforce them. It's a circuitous relationship that can be either very positive or very negative and extremely humbling. The important part is you choose it. You have chosen to hold every thought you've ever had, even the ones based on what was role modeled for you. And so you can choose every thought from now on. Negative self-talk and "should" might show up, baggage in hand, but you can show them the mental exit door. Solidifying your decisions and dealing with "should" takes practice, but it's work worth doing. You really should stop saying "should." Better yet, just do it.

5 When you hear yourself say "should": 6 - Evaluate what you really mean. Do you really mean that you are addressing an obligation or expectation that is worthwhile for you to do right now? Or is this some old mental model you have in your head about you, who you "should" be and what you "should" be doing, that maybe isn't worth clinging to? 7 - Do it or drop it. If you evaluate the "should" and decide it's worth keeping, then get up and get going. Drop the "should" and the guilt and just do it. If you evaluate the "should" and you need to let go of the expectation or obligation, then let it go! Really. Stop feeling bad about yourself over it, which, as you know, isn't getting you closer to fulfilling it. 8 - Find and replace. Now that you've chosen to do it or drop it, replace "should" permanently with more decisive, positive reinforcers — words that will serve you better than "should." Try "I accomplished," "I decided," or just simply "I did" or "I didn't." All of those authorize an action, whether you do the task or not. Statements like "I will" or "I won't" show you have made a decision and agree with it. This ends the disconnect between where you are and mental images in your head that don't matter. 9 You control your thoughts. Your thoughts create your emotional state. Your emotions direct your actions. Your actions seek thoughts that reinforce them. It's a circuitous relationship that can be either very positive or very negative and extremely humbling. The important part is you choose it. You have chosen to hold every thought you've ever had, even the ones based on what was role modeled for you. And so you can choose every thought from now on. Negative self-talk and "should" might show up, baggage in hand, but you can show them the mental exit door. Solidifying your decisions and dealing with "should" takes practice, but it's work worth doing. You really should stop saying "should." Better yet, just do it.